The Life of A Loner

That dark, rainy night compels me to question my solitude.
How dare you, I scold the night,
The power it has to confront my comfort.
I sit here thinking of all the battles I’ve fought in life,
All the times I’ve emerged victorious.

A friend called me from across the Atlantic,
From London,
After eight years of silence.
He called just to tell me,
"You are an inspiration to everyone who knew you in those low times."
He asked how I did it.
He said I was so passionate and successful.

I was flattered,
But there was no time to live in that flattering universe.
Loneliness was scratching at my heart, my ears, my sight, my mind.
Solitude has given me so much,
And I know I wouldn’t have achieved half of what I have
If I weren’t alone.

Loneliness screamed at me from the four walls of my room—
It sounded like my mother’s harsh voice,
Waking me up in the cold Jos mornings for chores.
Loneliness was my motivator,
A strange companion that pushed me to create.

No wonder I’m a creative person,
No wonder I stay in my feelings for so long.
Today, I’m happy that loneliness is by my side.
It makes me feel like I’m not alone.
I feel happy. I feel alone. Conflicted.

Sometimes, I feel like a jealous lover—
That if I ever found someone to replace loneliness,
It would be a betrayal.
But right now,
I don’t feel lonely.
I feel fulfilled.